A Spy, a Queen and A Spaz
by Kazu Darktoro
Summary: Takada invites Misa over for dinner, along with her bodyguard Hal. An argument leads to drinking, and drinking leads to...? Crack!MisaxHalxTakada, PWP. More to come, R&R.
1. Alternative

A Spy, A Queen, And A Spaz

_What happens when an author challenges a fandom to inspire a new OT3? Why, this fic happens! _

_Here's the first ever Hal/Misa/Takada OT3 fic. :3_

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As Misa flopped down at the dinner table, she kicked her high heel glossy leather boots up, and glared at

her most gracious host. There's that stupid bitch, sitting there all smug like she's got Light all to herself. Tch.

Takada said calmly, "You seem rather troubled, Miss Amane."

Misa widened one eye and smacked the table. "You damn well _know_ why, Kiyomi!" She crossed her arms

solemnly. "How can you sit there like a damn happy bitch who stole a girl's lover?"

Hal, dressed in casual but formal attire, raised a hand to speak but Takada raised hers toward Hal, implying

that silence was the best approach here.

"Miss Amane. Light and I are simply trying to catch Kira. Nothing more." Takada said, smiling despite the

ridiculous look on Misa's face. It was all Hal could do herself to stay serious when dealing with the Amane

woman. She was almost like a kinky ten-year-old wearing her mother's makeup. And since the last place

Hal had seen Amane was under her arms, preventing an assault on Miss Takada, Misa's whole aura was

just tactless arrogance. Which Hal found really funny. And though the "refined" Takada would never admit

it, she was thoroughly enjoying talking to Misa as if she were a younger daughter or something of the sort.

"Don't think I don't see him covering up his collar when he comes home." Misa snapped, watching Takada

with narrowed eyes.

At this, Takada seemed visibly unnerved. She knew that had been a bad idea. Now she was feeling it.

"I... don't know why he would need to." she said nervously.

Misa grinned despite having been so serious a mere moment ago. She poured a third glass of wine casually.

"I bet you're bad in bed, heheh." Now Hal spoke at that.

"Miss _Amane._ That is entirely unnecessary at the dinner table." Again Takada raised a hand for silence.

She was intrigued. "Does my expertise in the bedroom interest you, Miss Amane?" Misa hicced a little and

giggled.

"Maybe it _does._ So whut." She tipped back more wine cheerfully. Hal looked between the two, closed her

eyes acceptingly, and settled herself in a seat on the third side of the table. She took the bottle from Misa

disdainedly and poured herself and Takada a rather large portion.

Takada raised an eyebrow. Misa Amane was worried that Kiyomi Takada was better in bed than she was?

This deserved some digging. "Surely you know what Yagami-san likes?"

Misa waved her hand, a broad grin across her face. "_Duuuh. _And he told me I give the best blowjobs in the

_world_." Takada pursed her lips and looked off into the corner. She had a distaste for those. She certainly

had never given Light one. Maybe she was just too formal and old-fashioned, but making love meant just that,

and not all these other useless things people did. Light, of course, had done things with her, but she herself

preferred straight-forward activities, nothing unusual. As she looked at Misa, she blinked. She's probably

into bondage...might as well ask.

"I would have assumed by your preferance in dress and appearance that you were into... _other_ things.

Bondage and the like." Misa laughed out loud, laced the laughter with small giggles. "That's like,_ all _we do!

_Hahahaha_" She drank more, and Hal snorted. She covered it up by pouring herself another glass. She

and Mello had entertained ridiculous topics like this while he lived in her bathroom. The two had played

around once or twice, (Mello could be _very _persuasive) but nothing really permanent. She was glad he was

gone sometimes. Other times she really missed the company. Either way, Hal felt Mello and Misa would

get along famously.

"We do _tons _o' stuff liike that. Handcuffs, bein' tied up, you name it, Takki." She smirked. "Has Light ever

made _you_ feel so special? Maybe he just wants to meet Kira." Hal turned to Misa and said, "Light is certainly

interested in Kira. Has he ever talked to you about it?" Takada interjected. "This is not a forum to discuss

Kira--_hic!"_ Takada put her hand over her lips suddenly, blushing bright red. "How terribly unbecoming." she said,

embarassedly. All three drank some more, but Misa was clearly not holding her wine very well. She began

bringing the bottle down rather harder than necessary, causing wine to splash onto the--now permanently

stained--white tablecloth. None of them cared at this point, because the tension or rather the _purpose_ of the dinner

was becoming lost to them. Hal was getting a little red in the cheeks, and Takada felt a tad light but Misa,

an experienced partier, was stone drunk by now. She pointed her finger at the fluttery Takada and said loudly;

"If you could please _me_, then _maybe, MAYBE_ I'd believe you were a rival for Light's heart...hic." Hal turned to

Takada, smiling absently.

"Is... that a challenge, Miss...Miss...er..." Takada found it hard to recall Misa's name, though she had spoken it

so many times that night. Goodness, what _year _was this wine? It was _extraordinary._ "Damn straight! You gonna

take it, huh Kiyomi?"

Takada looked Misa right in the eye and said "..._Yes."_ Hal's eyes widened. "Wait, er, I... uhm..."

The two jealous women looked at the foreign, well-endowed blonde. "Yeah?" Misa said impatiently.

Hal resigned herself to how things were going to go, her inhibitions nearly gone. "I... want to join too." She lowered

her eyes, knowing her intoxication was most definitely complete.

--------

Near turned to Rester. "Commander Rester, could you please turn off my headset connection to Hal?" The officer

looked at the genius detective. "Er.. why?" Near blushed, but no one would ever, _ever_ see that. Trying to sound as

neutral as he could, Near said "There's some... interference. It's bugging me." Rester flicked the switch off.

Sometimes that kid was just weird.

----------

The sound of chairs scraping as the three sat up was quite loud. Mostly because Misa had tripped whilst

getting up and succeeded in knocking herself and her chair over. "Owwies."

Hal and Takada tried, they honestly did. They tried not to laugh, they couldn't, it was so uncouth but...

"_Hahahahahaha!!" _The two older women began laughing comically, hardly able to control themselves.

And then Misa started laughing too, so she wouldn't feel left out, and everyone just laughed. Soon they forgot

why they were laughing and giggling, or even there. Then Hal turned and kissed Takada, rather fiercely.

Takada's eyes widened. Misa gasped. Takada was smaller, frailer than Hal was, and fell back in her seat. Hell,

the blonde could have simply thrust her sizable chest at Takada and knocked her over. But Hal pursued her new

focus onto the chair. Buttons were undone. Restrictive suit jacket away. Misa stared. She hadn't honestly

been serious, but _this..._ it was turning her on. A lot. More than she would have thought two gorgeous women

making out would have.

And she wanted in. _Now._

She was quickly missing a point to jump in though...


	2. Happy Endings

_Part 2 _

Misa watched Hal smothering Takada with physical attention, and felt herself pouting. _It was my idea..._ she thought, rather enviously.

Meanwhile the vivacious heavy-set American was unbuttoning Takada's shirt, Hal's lips savouring the skin of her prey's neck. Takada was drunk, but appeared to be very aware of what exactly was going on. If one knew this, then, why was she still smiling softly? Misa's longing was suddenly raised by a small moan from Takada, as Hal nipped slowly down her collar, stopping at the restrictive bra. The corners of her mouth showed something of disappointment, but next moment she was smirking pleasantly and resting her cheek against the warm curves of Takada's breasts. Misa stood up, unable to watch any longer, and stood in front of the pinned Takada. With only her hands and face free, she lazily reached over and slipped Misa's skirt off. The black thong beneath took a little more focus, but Misa helped her impatiently.

As Misa stuck her lips out in concentration, shaking the tiny item of "clothing" off her high heeled shoe, Takada tentatively splayed her slim fingers over Misa's exposed sex. Misa's breath caught in her throat as the older woman rubbed her clit delicately. The look on Takada's face was clearly a mix of surprise, curiosity, and attentiveness.

Hal ran her tongue slowly across the skin above the lining of the bra, closing her eyes calmly. Takada shivered and spread Misa's sex slowly. Misa was loving the attention, feeling her legs weaken as she began rubbing herself eagerly against the arm of the large chair. Takada paused briefly, bit her lip, then barelled ahead with her streak of impulsive curiosity and slid her tongue up and down Misa's clit tenderly. Misa half-gasped, and instinctively pressed her fingers into Takada's hair, sighing happily. Hal frowned momentarily, and then gave up on the bra, having no access to undo it, and unbuttoned the clip of Takada's skirt. The moment after, Hal threw her white panties away and clambored over the smaller Asian, rubbing her wetness against Takada's, nipping at her neck. Her large chest threatened to eclipse her lover's smaller orbs, but none of them cared, as Misa began nearing her first climax, riding Takada's tongue with a lusty expression and her eyes half-closed. "Mmmm...hmmm Misa Misa is soooo close!" she panted, gasping for air.

Hal felt her tender lips pressing against smooth skin; Takada was shaved! She felt herself incredibly turned on by this, long blonde hair flowing off her shoulders to create a curtain around her face. She rolled Takada's nipples in her fingers, pressed them together. The dark-haired Kiyomi moaned in a high-pitch noise, slipping a hand to massage Misa's thigh, the other stroking Hal's neck. Her tongue never ceased its assault on Misa's honey-slicked tunnel, giggling at the noises that each stroke produced.

"More, Misa wants more!" the tiny model panted, gyrating her hips against Takada's mouth and massaging her breasts in her own hands eagerly. Hal bit her lip, her clit rubbing against her lover's; she was so close...

Misa's girly voice rose higher and higher, along with the well-attended Takada's; The incredible friction of Hal's clit rubbing against hers was becoming agonizing... and Hal's low voice let out an incredibly sexy whimper laced with some shivering. The three of them whined in unison as the climax came out of nowhere, simultaneously crashing over them all; Misa let out a cry as the two older women let out prolonged sighs that quickly rose into moans. The tension between them tightened as they all pressed their bodies together... and then it was fading, and their heated skin shuddered. They all fell into a comfortable position on top of one another, and were asleep minutes after the amazing experience.

Hal walked into the SPK headquarters the next morning, looking rather dissheveled. Near looked at her, and said embarassedly; "I won't ask." The agent looked at Near and mouthed "Thank you," before taking her seat at a computer in the corner of the room. Near said quietly, slightly confused, "You're welcome...?"

Takada made an unusual announcement the next morning; all drunks would not be tolerated by Kira. "Drinking has a terrible effect on proper judgement and impairs your ability to decide right or wrong. In a perfect society, acts of depravity and irrational behaviour stemming from alcohol abuse will not be forgiven easily." Even stranger, she placed a hand to her forehead, blush visible on her face. "That is my report for tonight."

And then there was Misa. She'd woken up long before the other two, being an experienced drunk. The grin on her face was criminal. With a slurred giggle, she grabbed the empty bottle and said to no one in particular; "Suckers... all I wanted was the wine..." Then, completely oblivious to anything she'd just done to the night before, she stumbled and fell asleep on the floor.

"Heh heh heh...Misa wins..."

...She hiccuped, and began snoring.

--_Thus concludes this story of the DEATH NOTE...--_


End file.
